Hiya CC
It is the little day to day amounts that cause the problem. I remember other members who paid a few pounds here or there without thinking how they added up and of course people seldom bother asking for receipts for small accounts – ideal for a CG. Refusing requests for small amounts would probably shock many people but on this forum you get a round of applause.
Don’t let it break your heart that you can’t trust him – we can only ever trust anybody to try and live decently and one day your son will again.
If he is telling you anything then the channels of communication are open and that is the key to the future. He will concoct stories and some more farcical than others but his gambling has found in the past that these deceits have kept you at bay – sadly they can get worse. If you are sure it is an untruth then it is ok to say ‘I don’t want to hear this or that story’ and then to do something positive (like the dusting –ugh!) while changing the subject. One of the problems is that because a CG tells so many lies their memories become fuzzy and the lies they have told become their truth. I think it is a very exhausting way to live and many CG’s get weary with the confusion that their own behaviour creates.
In the meantime keep going as you are – the fact that you called the police rather than making a threat and then not carrying it out carries a lot of weight and I cannot help but admire the way you are handling this.
Don’t waste your time wishing you had known things years ago – I could have 25 years worth of regret if I allowed myself to go down that path – what has gone has gone and cannot be undone. Use it for reference only and live in today because today you are doing great.
Speak soon
Velvet
