Nice to meet you but sorry about the circumstances:(
I have been walking this road for 10 years. That is not said to scare you but as an indication of the relentlessness of this addiction. The only way it abates is when the addict stares “addiction”in the face and no longer buys the crap he is selling.
So very difficult watching a loved one destroy themselves. The best thing you can do is help yourself. If you can find a Gam Anon group you will find the face to face support invaluable.
When you lend money, help with debts, provide gas money etc it just frees up more money for gambling which takes them further down the rabbit hole. Eventually at the end of the day they need to feel the consequences of gambling away their money. If they don’t feel the pain there is no reason to change. Just a note… your idea of pain and your sons is probably miles and miles apart.
I have spent years not quite comfortable letting my son hit rock bottom. Afraid he would lose his great job or kill himself which comes up frequently after big losses. We become terrified and give him one more chance and the cycle continues.
I know your fear, anger, sadness, frustration and hopelessness. Honestly the sooner we move away from their chaos and allow their story to play out the sooner they will decide that maybe recovery is in their best interests.
There is always hope for both you and your son.
Cathyx