Hi Username
Please don’t take it personally that your son feels he cannot share his worry with you, this is quite common.
It is very likely that your son’s depression and anxiety have stemmed from his worry about his gambling and not the other way round. A compulsive gambler suffers with feelings of worthlessness and failure and I suspect your son wants to try and redeem himself in ‘his own eyes’ first. Owning a gambling addiction is something he will almost definitely feel deeply ashamed about and that is a different ball game from admitting to anxiety and depression.
A gambling addiction is not something that a person should be ashamed to own but ignorance plays a major part in keeping this addiction secret. Your son probably placed a bet some time ago, either with friends or on his own just for fun, he could not possibly have known that he could not gamble responsibly. Having crossed the line he will now have to have great courage and determination to control his problem and your understanding can greatly support him while he fights his demons.
You ‘know’ his guilty secret but he is unaware that you know and in my opinion this is the best way to go on. In the meantime I suggest you learn as much as you can about the addiction to gamble so that you can support him in the right way. It is so important that your son trusts you and I suspect he would struggle with the fact you have read his email, although it is completely understandable that you did so. I don’t think you were nosey at all; I think you were caring and worried. Many F&F become detectives when this problem has appeared in their lives but generally it is the only way to know the truth as a gambler will use lies and deception because it is the only way they know to cope.
It would be great if you could pop in to an F&F group on either Tuesday evening 22.00 – 23.00 hours UK time or Thursday 20 .00 – 21.00 hours UK time so that we can communicate in real time. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum. You will be very welcome.
I hope it will help you to know that I would not be writing to you if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble can be controlled and fantastic lives lived as a result.
Velvet
