Hi Trinity
It is easy to get into a self-blaming way of thinking and not always so easy to change to a more self-caring one. But self-blame can lead to a sense of shame and unworthiness which will not help in the long run. Past decisions have their consequences, some of them painful, but you need strength and courage to deal positively with those, so try not to let your energy get sapped away with negative thoughts about yourself. You have made a decision to be free of gambling and that is a powerful choice and something to be proud of, as is every day you maintain that new way of life. Stick close to all the support you need too.
Best wishes,
Monique