Hi there,
sorry it has taken a couple of days to reply to you, I have been away with work and havent been able to get to the site.
Firstly, I want to say well done on taking the control to make sure that the main bills are paid and that you are not making concessions for that. That is a really big step in making sure you are not being majorly financially damaged on a monthly basis.
However, the free availability of the rest of his wage gives him free rein to spend happily on gambling, from what you say, until the money runs out.
Then it is left to you, to pay for his lifestyle for the rest of the month and I assume to also pay for anything unexpected that comes your way during that time (for example if there is something that your little boy needs, or the car breaks down etc).
Is there a way you could limit this more? For example hold him accountable for the money of yours that he has spent once his payday comes back around. or have a fixed sum from his wage to cover petrol and such things.
In my experience, it doesnt matter how much money is available, whether it is 50p or £500, all of it will go to gambling if it is available to a gambler.
My partner was paid weekly so the money would only run out for a couple of days and then the thrill would come straight back a few days later. For your partner, i assume for some of the months it is a long slog between when the money runs out and payday?
Unfortunately, a gambler is unlikely to want to make a change until they hit rock bottom and that wont happen when there is an easy access to funds.
The anger and the faux storming out is part of the addiction pushing your boundries. It wants to know where your breaking point is, what they have to do to make you cave in. and then it wont be so hard for them next time, they can just go straight to that breaking point. Which, for you, obviously is where you’ve snapped or your partner has said something that makes you change your behaviour. So it is when you are pushed to your weakest/lowest point.
My partner would storm out of my place over and over again (we didnt live together). The first few (many) times, i would go after him “just get in the car and come back” feeding the ego. And then one day it clicked…you stormed out with no money. You cant get home. This is your problem not mine. And surprise surprise back he came tail between his legs.
Its a horrible game of test your limits. The best advise i can give you is to be strong. The addiction needs you to thrive. You dont need it. It has and still is taking me a very long time to learn to be strong.
You are doing better than you feel. You are getting support now, which will help to make you stronger.
Logic
P.s. if some of my words are a little harsh i dont mean them to be. i’m used to receiving advice, not giving it!!