Heres how I see it.
You will never beat this problem forever. Not unless you work recovery every day.
I gave all access to money to my husband, if I needed to buy something and I used the card I would bring home the receipt to prove what I spent.
Sounds childish I know. It was MY decision to do this because I knew I couldn’t trust myself with access to our money.
I had been the bill payer in the house, the ‘money’ person. It was difficult for my husband, after all, I had just told him about our gambling debt (we had to sell our house), then, I gave him all the responsibility. But I simply could not do it and in truth, I didn’t want to.
Fast forward about a year, I got my keycard back (still made myself accountable for all I spent) and now I’m back controlling the finances. It took time, but I did it for me. I didn’t want to think about money. I had excluded so I couldn’t go and gamble, I took away every resource I had to gamble, and I work my recovery.
Why do you feel the need to prove yourself right now?
Why give yourself any opportunity to fall back.
Time is what is needed, to rebuild your life, to start living, and gambling will no longer play that role it once did. Doesn’t mean that it ever goes away. I think, for me, it just becomes easier to deal with those little urges.
In the end, its your recovery. This is what worked for me and I am grateful every single day.
Whatever you decide, you are always supported!
Have a great evening,
Love K xx
