Hi thanks for the comments while I have been absent from here. I have been lurking here and reading the email alerts I get through. I just felt I needed to take a step back for a while for my own personal reasons.
I feel like I am moving into a better place mentally now. I decided not to continue with my medication in any form. Spoke it through with someone and even on half dosage it had rank side effects for me. So its cold turkey for me. Strangely I think the short time I was on the happy pills it shocked my system. Overall though for the fist time in months I do not feel the black heavy cloud of depression around me.
My gambling addiction is still around me but it no longer holds me in a vice like grip. Slowly making sense of my life and pushing forward with things I need to achieve before this years out. Off to Denmark soon to spend time with my son. Managed even to pay child support the past few weeks and give my son money for a school trip to Paris that he is on right now.
I read here lots of peoples storys about the struggle and sheer hell of where this addiction takes us. Am I survivor ? too early to tell. Will I finally make good things in my life rather than one river of cra@p after another ? I recon I can.
Onwards and thanks again for the comments left for me 🙂