Hi Sunflower
I don’t hear someone who is enabling by being there – it seems to me, from what you have said, that you have been doing well. Please don’t feel ashamed of forgiving him – you are a generous person who loves a man with an addiction and that is just not easy.
It takes a great deal of courage to face a gambling addiction and go through rehab, it takes a lot more courage to live the gamble-free life after rehab. It is also very easy for those who love a recovering gambler to say the wrong thing or to offer unwanted ‘advice’. It is important sometimes to show a trust that perhaps is not being entirely felt.
I don’t ‘know’ Sunflower whether, or not, your boyfriend could play on-line poker safely although I do believe it would be very unwise for him to try. He said that he wouldn’t mind playing on-line poker, not that he had already played – maybe he needed to talk about what was going on in his head. I
In my opinion, it would be good to suggest to him that you are concerned and that maybe he could share his thoughts with his counsellors from rehab or his local GA group. He would be welcome to pose his thoughts on this site in ‘My Journal’ or in one of our facilitated ‘gamblers only’ groups. Our Helpline is one-to-one and anonymous. His thoughts are not unusual, there is a lot of support and he will be understood. These are testing and terrible times for everybody. Gamblers, who are trying to live gamble-free, have had their escape route from reality cut off and coping will be tougher than usual.
Keep communication open with your boyfriend Sunflower and please keep posting.
Velvet