A big thumbs up for finding and joining this site. I have certainly found it valuable as we all fight the gambling demon. It is nasty and a horrible addiction that has us doing and saying things that we and those that know us find out of character. Why this addiction takes such a strong hold on some of us and not others remains a mystery to me. The feelings you speak of are all too familiar to me. I to, in the past have won huge amounts of money, only to loose it plus more in my frenzy of gambling. I can also recall my thoughts on “getting on with it and loosing all my money, so at least then I could leave and go home. Many times in the past I have skipped social and family events as I rushed off to the casino. I left a major city to escape the clutches of a major casino, leaving a good job, friends and family to live more remotely, till I discovered on line gambling. It felt like their was no escape as this addiction followed and found me again…. you have made a good positive step Steph by joining this site. Read the stories, take part in the forums, read the support, ideas and thoughts of others. It does help and it does get easier. Keep reading and keep writing. We are all here for you.
Tina