I also felt your heartache of not realising before hand that the meal would be paid for. It’s funny how as kids we cant make those guesses beforehand which we do as adults.
I was also impressed by your quick thinking about how you might Have paid for your meal and saved some money for your ice cream. And that ice-cream! Been there and it’s those memories that comfort me. The small pleasures that mean the world at that age.
It takes courage to take responsibility for your own actions as an adult and not blame the past and examples set by the adults Back then. My father wasn’t a gambler nor my mother. But he was very strict, cold and unforgiving. I do appreciate his discipline and his hard work though.
Does anyone gamble in my family? No just me. It’s my urge to get quick results, my impatience, my need to accumulate, to save for a rainy day. Fuck that rainy day. How about living in the present? If that rainy day came at least I’d have my closest ppl beside me. I’d get through it.
I grew up without a mum from the age of 3. Perhaps younger. My father remarried and unfortunately it was a case of the evil step mother. Big gap left in me in my teens. A real
Internal struggle. But I am now a mother and feel like I’m retracing hidden footsteps and filling in the missing ones.