Hi Stay Strong
If it was possible, for someone who is addicted to gambling, to win some money and be happy, then this site would not exist and all the members on this forum would be happily gambling and leading wonderful lives – sadly that is not the case.
There is no need for anyone to remind you that you have a problem that you cannot control because that would not be true. It appears from your posts, however, that presently you are losing control and unless you take positive action and accept the very real danger you are in, the harder it will be to stop and retake control. As was said in an earlier post to you, the addiction to gamble gets worse, never better, once it has a foothold in your life.
The addiction to gamble isn’t about money which is a concept I think most of us find difficult to accept at the beginning. The addiction is solely about ‘the gamble’ and when you react to that urge to gamble, you are messing with your brain and befuddling your reality.
Your wife probably did seem happiest when she was unaware but sadly she was always unlikely to remain in ignorance for long. It seems to me that the fights that you have had with you wife, when you were trying to stop, was your wife becoming aware that your behaviour was already changing as your addiction took hold.
You are being heard. Please keep posting and seeking the terrific support that you are being offered.
Velvet