Hi Silhouette
You seem to have a fairly good grasp of your girlfriend’s problem and yet you write ‘ I carry the burden of her issues as if they were my own’.
It’s time to lay the burden down Silhouette.
Your girlfriend has an addiction to gamble, but you do not, her addiction is the master of threats and manipulation and you are not – but it is ‘her’ addiction, not yours and you do not have to allow it to control your life. It is important not to get involved in the arguing and blaming game which will only wear you out and gain nothing. If you can stand back and detach yourself you will save energy and give yourself precious time to regain your strength. Putting yourself first is the best thing you can do for you and ultimately for your girlfriend. However much your girlfriend seeks to convinces you that she is in control – she is not.
In your last post you have said that ‘you need’ your girlfriend to stop gambling but sadly that is your need, not hers, she believes her need is to gamble. You can only cope with your own needs and from what you have said your needs are to recover your self-esteem and confidence.
Worriedmama mentioned Gamanon, this is not GA but is the sister group for those who are affected by the addiction of another, it is certainly not a place to avoid because you have feelings of hate towards yourself. I was terrified the first time I entered a Gamanon meeting as I believed myself to be a pathetic blob but it was the best thing I ever did. Gamanon groups are made up of people who have unwittingly enabled, who have hated their seeming inability to cope and who want to change their lives. The sharing and caring is amazing.
I hope some of this helps. Giving up on yourself is not an option, keep posting and maybe try Gamanon. There is a lot more to learn.
Velvet
