Hi Shirley
My experience has been that we ‘think’ our child has dealt with grief or rejection; we do everything in our power to lessen the trauma and we leave the door open for discussion at any time but I do think it is difficult for a parent to start a conversation with a child when the child appears to be coping well and time has elapsed. Sometimes matters appear to have to go desperately wrong before avenues of conversations are opened allowing healing to take place.
I have personal experience that rejection was dealt with by my son when he attended the GMA programme and I have every reason to thank GMA and the staff for the rest of my life for what they did.
Your son certainly has strong reasons to seek support until he is gamble-free; not just to cope with his grief over his sister but any trauma he undoubtedly felt when he was involved in accident himself. Having been involved in an accident in a car myself I know that the trauma experienced can be very confusing.
How did he do when he had his counselling session? Did he tell you about it? It is no reflection on a loved one when a gambler doesn’t want to talk about their counselling because of the emotions that are stirred up – but a counsellor knows how to steer those emotions to a place of safety. If your son has not opened up yet, I suggest you give him time and maybe one day he will want to talk.
It is so easy to keep wanting answers from a child with a gambling problem when they are often not able to give answers. A child in recovery must learn to trust that the parents will listen and not try and tell them what to do or how they should be.
It is good that your son realises that he will need to be proactive in filling his free time – the void left when a gambling addiction is controlled is very difficult to fill. Good counselling will give him the necessary tools to deal with this void.
Keep posting
Velvet
