Hi Shelly
I would never suggest to you that you should leave your husband or that you should stay with him – all decisions must be yours. When you don’t know what to do it is important, I think, to stand still until you know what it is that you want to do. To this end Shelly, I hope you will keep posting because talking and listening helps us make life-changing and informed decisions that are so important to get right
Many CGs hope that they can change their lives with will-power but as yet I have not heard of one successfully doing so. This, along with your husband’s so-called belief that God alone can save him is another excuse to gamble – he is the only person who can change his life.
Separation does not have to mean the end of a relationship and sometimes, sadly, estrangement is the only way forward. Your husband appears to have his blinkers firmly in place and maybe he will not truly accept he has an addiction without something hitting him so hard his blinkers fall away, such as you putting a distance between you or, as you say, getting caught with a loss so great he cannot keep denying he needs help.
However the most important thing is you and your health, without your health you will not be able to cope and your son needs you to be in control.
The various and sometimes frightening ailments that you are experiencing as a result of living with the addiction to gamble will gradually go away when you refuse the addiction any place in your life. It is important to keep up with friends and enjoy the hobbies and interests that please you bcause it is easy to lose these things when the addiction to gamble fills all your waking hours.
Tell me more about ‘you’ and what you want Shelly. I have a F&F group tonight (Tuesday) between 20.00-21.00 hours UK time – it would be great to talk to you in real time.
Velvet
