Hi Sandy
From what you are saying it is best not to believe either your mother or your aunt until they have accepted and controlled their addiction.
Although it is sad that your cousin is facing the same as you, you do, hopefully, have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through and who wants the same as you. I think that sharing gives a tremendous relief.
I am, however, concerned that your cousin is now asking you to pay half of her debts and suggest you do as you have said and translate for her what you are learning here. If she chose to do these things for her mother then that is her responsibility and not yours, you have lost enough money and emotional energy through your own mother’s addiction. I am glad your other relatives are not giving any money to your mother
In view of what you have said I suggest that you do not lend/give your aunt any money – there is no way to know if your mother did lend her any money but whatever actually happened is immaterial if they are both CG.
Lending/giving/borrowing are all difficult words when a CG is involved. There is an expression coined by Shakespeare ‘never a borrower or lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend’ which means don’t lend money or borrow money from a friend because if you do so you will lose both your friend as well as your money. I know of friends, who are not compulsive gamblers, who have lost their friendship when a debt was overdue for payment and I find that extremely sad.
Unfortunately active CGs can encourage each other so I think your plan to get other family members round them table with them is a good idea to let them both know that enough is enough and that you and your cousin will not pay any gambling debts.
Keep posting Sandy
Velvet
