Hi Sammy,
Well done on looking for help. Things might seem hopeless right now but it never is. There is life after gambling. Look around the site, in the My journal Forum you will read lots of stories you will relate to, see the sort of things that have helped others stop gambling and regain control of their livers. You can too i promise you.
Compulsive gambling is an addiction like any other, sometimes there is no understanding it.
You have a lot of support available to you though, sites like this and places like Gamblers Anonymous to address your gambling, financial/debt advice agencies and if you do have further toughts regarding “an accident” there is always someone you can talk to if you look at this link. http://www.befrienders.org/
I’d suggest ypou start your own thread in that My Journal Forum, you will gt a lot of feedback and support from otehr memebers there. Try and be honest with your husband, he needs to know. He can help you restrict your access to money so you can”t gamble. You will see how barriers like this have helped others, you can also get yourself excluded from where ever it is you have been gambling.
There are aslo groups here you can connect to, a helpline if you want to talk to someone on a one to one basis.
You can get passed this, the important thing now is to use the support that is avaialble to you.