Hi sailboc, what a wonderful post. You can do this with the right support. I have been battling with a gambling addiction for 3 years and it has ruined my life, pushed my wife and young son away, wrecked my business through not putting the time into it and now it looks like my business will fold. I have been diagnosed as clincially depressed and am now on anti-depressents. I am struggling to work and focus, all I do is think of the damage I have done myself and my family.
I would hate to see you end up where I am, which is a very dark place. This addiction will rob you of everything – money, self respect, family, future. I have been gamble free for 12 days today, which is not a long time. I am severely depressed, and struggle to see any light. My wife has been amazing, but she is exhausted.
I reccomend you to read THE EASY WAY TO STOP GAMBLING. This is all about how to quit not through willpower, but through reprogramming your brain to not need gambling. It is easy to find on Amazon, and I read it once a week. I still get urges, but they are not the biggest issue facing me. I know have the face the debris of my life, and how to pick up the pieces.
One day at a time is all it takes – you sound as if you have not lost everything yet which is wonderful. Within time your work will suffer, your home life, everything.
I hope to see you succeed and I send you all my love.
Mav