Hi Sad. We should change your name to Happy from now. I am glad to hear that you have secured a job, and that you are happy about that. As you said things will get better when we do not gamble. For me as well good things happening, and am trying to make seance of feelings that I have now. Working o my anxiety and trying to manage them.
I was reading about understanding anxiety and the the way it affects us.
I don’t have much of the physical side effects of anxiety but I can relate to behavior side of that: we do not plan things very well, we rush about trying to do every thing, avoidance, we get irritated and take it all out on those around us.
The best part I like was where they talk about” self talk” as it is what I was doing negative self talk, that usually took me to gambling places. It says people with general anxiety are specially prone to engage in negative self talk. Anxiety can be generated on the spur of the moment by repeatedly making statements to yourself that begins with the words ‘ what if…. I can not handle it…, there for just noticing when you fall in to ‘what if’ thinking is the first step towards gaining control over negative self talk. we need to change the sentence with positive ones. so what, these are just thoughts and that I can handle that . I have done so before and I will do it again.
Self talk is often so automatic you do not notice it happening, and there for you react without noticing what you have told yourself right before you reacted.
Self talk often appears in telegraphic form or even in flashes or images that contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations.
How many times I was arguing with my self about going to betting shop or not, and all of a sudden I went and put behind all the logical arguments that I was having few minutes ago. I guess some how the self talk was involve in making me taking that decision.
Four common personality types have been identified in people who are prone to anxiety:
1. The worrier: creates anxiety by imagining the worst case scenario, also called catastrophising. The worrier tend to, anticipate the worst, overestimate the likelihood of something bad happening, and crating images of failure or catastrophe.
2. The critic(promotes low self-esteem. he is constantly judging and evaluating your behavior. It jumps on any mistake you make to remind you that you are a failure. It always putting you down. It ignores your positive qualities, and emphasizes your weakness.
3. The victim(promotes depression)
The victim is the part of you that feels helpless, and hopeless. It generates anxiety by telling you that you are not making any progress. It believes nothing will ever changes. The favorite expressions of victim includes “I can not or I will never be able to”. for example: I will never be able to do that, so what is the point of even trying?
4. The perfectionist:(promotes chronic stress and burn out)
The perfectionist is s close cousin of the Critic, but instead of putting yourself down, it pushes you to do better.
favorite words of perfectionist are should and must. You should be working harder, you must have every thing under control. it is intolerant of mistakes. it has the tendency to convince you that your self-worth is dependent on externals such as vocational achievement, money, and status, acceptance by others, being loved, or your consistent ability to be nice to others regardless of what they do.
I hope It would help some of us to understand our feelings better and the cause of some of our actions, that we could not explain and reason for that. In later time I will write how we are supposed to manage and control these feelings, according to my anxiety management booklet.
Thanks to you all, and all the best to you.