Hi Priloza
I often say that if you don’t know whether to go or to stay in a relationship then it is time to stand still until you do. Use your time to gain knowledge of the addiction that is hurting you and then make an informed decision on your future. You have done this Prizola and although I appreciate that you are sad, I believe that you know that you have made the right decision for you and probably for you husband and for that reason I applaud your action.
It is easy for others to say that the signs were there but I know from personal experience that even with the signs in neon lights, emblazoned across the sky, it is not always possible to recognise a compulsive gambler until it is, often, too late.
Your ex-husband’s family’s denial is, of course, horrible but sadly it is understandable – they probably hoped you would succeed where they thought they had failed. They will have to live with their son knowing that they did not help you but that is their problem – not yours.
I don’t believe your whole relationship was a sham because until your husband learns to control his addiction it is not possible to know what is truly in his heart. A compulsive gambler can love deeply but the unasked for and unwanted addiction is corrosive and all-encompassing. The addiction demands feeding at all costs and grows as it is fed, destroying homes, families and lives. What is in the heart of the gambler cannot be known when he is driven by addiction and out of control.
Use this experience only as a reference Priloza but don’t dwell in that unhappy past – you have a life ahead of you and if you allow it to do so, this experience can be a great education.
Velvet
