Hi Peter
I have wasted far too many sleepless nights over ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ because they changed nothing
Letting go of old thinking is part of accepting there is a different way forward. Promise nothing to anybody and without fanfare take a leap of faith, use all the support you can get and quietly determine that just for today you will not gamble.
The CG in my life actively gambled for at least 25 years until 11 years ago when he realised he was responsible for being the person he didn’t like or want to be. He changed his life by taking just one day at a time. He will always be a CG but he controls his actions and lives happily without the daily feeling of failure that comes from the gambling addiction. He now has a roof over his head and clothes that belong to him; his car is a bit more modern than yours but he loves it; He eats well and laughs a lot.
I wouldn’t be writing to you Peter if I believed for a minute that you could not have the gamble-free life you crave and it doesn’t matter how many years have gone before, there are better ones ahead, if you determine that that just for today you will not gamble.
I know I am over-simplifying the courage it takes to face the addiction demon and you would have every right to think that I can’t understand but I am fortunate to have seen and heard of many CGs who have changed their lives in the past 11 years. What I have constantly been amazed about is the sheer joy that comes from winning the fight – lives can be and are, more special for the things that are learned along the way of recovery. It cannot happen overnight; it isn’t easy, it takes a lot of patience; but it is worth the effort and this forum, Helpline and groups will walk with you all the way.
Use all the support that you can, use this thread as a journal to watch your progress – it’s the next 35 years that matters and it only has to start with ‘today’.
Velvet
