Hi Paul
It seems to me that you have to bite the bullet and look at the bank statements. This is your money and your life too.
The fact that she doesn’t appear to want to quit is not a reflection on her feelings for you, if she is addicted then her feelings cannot be fathomed. I believed that the compulsive gambler in my family hated me but when he took control of his addiction, I found that he did love me. I know how hard it is to be confused by the behaviour of a gambler but also know how hard it is to hang in.
I don’t agree with any counsellor who says that you must accept the behaviour of a compulsive gambler – it suggests that he/she is unaware of addiction.
Arguments get you nowhere Paul – they merely sap your energy.
I would be lying Paul if I said that all outcomes are good for those who love compulsive gamblers but if you love your wife then start now as you mean to carry on. You have every right to check the bank statements as Vera has written. If you love your wife then a confrontational-intervention may help, they do work for many.
Velvet
