Hi Overthink
You are not overthinking, you are trying to make sense of the senseless and you have arrived at believing that your husband needs more support and is, in fact, possibly feeling better for his confession which puts the burden of worry on your shoulders. I think you are right to be concerned.
I have never heard of a compulsive gambler going it alone and being successful – I have, however, heard many gamblers say that such sites as this and GA would not be necessary if it was possible to stop without the right support.
It is great that he has self-excluded and that he has accepted he has a problem but it seems to me that he doesn’t realise the severity of his problem.
One of the greatest dangers in recovery is complacency and your husband appears to be feeling complacent already and satisfied that his plans will see him through.
I think it would be good if you could tell him, gently. that you have sought help for yourself as you are confused. Maybe ask him to help you understand and possibly ask him, perhaps, to contact out Helpline. As he feels confident then he has nothing to lose as our Helpline is anonymous,
We have brilliant ‘gambler only groups’ on Mondays and Thursdays, facilitated by someone who has stood in your husband’s shoes and has been living happily gamble-free for many, many years. Once again this is anonymous, non-judgemental and supportive – your husband would be very welcome.
Please take great of yourself at this difficult time, make sure you use any support available from friends and family. Unfortunately, many people do not understand about this addiction but maybe if you told them that you are getting support and therefore do not need opinions but would appreciate some love and understanding. The F&F groups on Tuesday and Thursday evenings are there for you – it would be great to ‘talk’ to you in real time.
In the meantime, please keep posting
Velvet
