Hi Nk
Although your last post was a reply to another, I know how disappointing it is to not know if you were heard or not, so here I am to tell you that indeed you are being heard.
I think that if we get another group like last week we could use ‘What is an Enabler’ as our topic. It seems to me that there is a fine line between educating your children and then becoming this thing called an Enabler. As your child is growing you want to educate/enable them to have a good life when they become independent because that is the natural order of things. There is a feeling of failure when the child does not achieve the independence that was hoped for but instead is gripped by something that has caused them to lose control just as they should be flying free. Sadly too it is like a stone thrown in to a pond where the ripples spread outward and the parent/ spouse/siblings feel the control of their own lives slipping away – it is this feeling that creates the Enabler.
The addiction to gamble will sabotage trust in a family, causing unrest and confusion because in division the addiction can get the enablement it seeks. In my own case I did everything wrong for all the right reasons and it wasn’t until I gained knowledge and put myself before my CG’s addiction that I began a long recovery.
Where do you think you are enabling? What actions have you tried? These are rhetorical questions but examining what action we have taken and then discussing the outcome of the action we took can lead us try something different that we had not considered before. Left with questions whizzing round in our brains we just go round and round which is detrimental to the inner ear and causes dizziness leaving one falling further and further into ‘blob-hood’ – I know because I have been there.
Looking forward to ‘seeing’ you in a group again where I hope we can raise a smile or two but in the meantime please keep posting because knowledge really is power.
Velvet (ex top of the Blobs)
