Hi Nacole, I hope things are going well. Please keep posting whether you are having good or bad day. three days by the way is a huge achievement. I understand the anticipation and temptation to gamble when your husband is away as it used to be the same for me. It was like I was I unobserved and could get away with it. Of course i always imagined I would win. I found freedom from gambling through a course on a christian website. The website is called Setting Captives free and the course I did was called higher stakes. It has been several months since I went through the cycle of thinking about gambling, arranging money to gamble, gambling, panicking and praying for win, realising I had lost it all, panicking and trying to think of ways to cover up the loss, withdrawing from everyone as my mind was consumed with gambling, hiding bank statements, borrowing from friends, self loathing, shame feeling really poor , feeling inferior etc …I too could never really quit gambling no matter how hard I tried. My relationship with my husband and son have improved beyond recognition in that few months .I am like a new person. I feel truly content and happy inside, and best of all my brain is not driving me crazy. It was like I had an unscratchable itch with thoughts of gambling constantly consuming my whole brain. Recovery is possible Nacole. It is hard. There may be set backs but it is so worth fighting for. Because you are so worth it! Stick with it . You will get there.
