You could be describing me as well. I’m not a nurse but am a professional woman Married and two kids, one teenager and one in his early twenties. My gambling was a deep dark secret kept from my husband. He knew I gambled but not how often or how much. Suicide, yes, considered that a lot near the end of the downward spiral. The secrets, the debt I could no longer re finance or keep hidden and the repayments were impossible to make. I felt hopeless because all i thought about was gambling. When your dream becomes to win the lottery so you can sit and play the VLT’s all day that is a sick sad hopeless feeling. I am so glad that I found this site. Proud to say that with the help of this site and many other resources such as free out patient counselling provided by my province and gamblers anonymous I have been in recovery and clean for over four years. It is a one step at a time, one moment at a time endeavour. Many small changes and big steps make up the journey. Well done on taking some 🙂
Can I ask does your husband truly know/understand that you have a gambling addiction? Have you had confrontations before? It can be major tough on relationships this problem. Creates a lot of mistrust I think for our partners.
Glad you found this place Nacole. It’s a support I couldn’t have done without. Take care,
Laura