Hi Mr Exon
Well done started on your own thread.
A lot of what I wanted to say related to your post on Geordie’s thread so here goes:-
Look your parents in the eyes because you are doing something about the problem that affects you but leave the problems that affect them out of the equation. The only people who can deal with why your mother and her friend didn’t speak are the parties involved. It is not your problem, however much if affected you. Maybe in the future you can have constructive discussions but not at this stage of your recovery.
You won’t solve everything in one fell swoop Mr E – the past doesn’t just disappear but in the future you will be able to use it for reference only and you won’t be dwelling on what has gone.
The weeks before my CG entered GH where dreadful to put it mildly. A mixture of fear of the unknown and a dread that things won’t change is enough to put anyone in a downward spin.. The void you are talking about is recognised and understood – gambling has been the mainstay of your life and you are going to lose it – what will you do without it? Will you cope? The answer is a resounding yes but it does take time , knowledge and self-awareness..
Every gamble-free day you put in before you go to GH is a bonus. It will make it easier to deal with the ghosts you are bringing up from your past allowing you more space in your mind to deal with them. Don’t stay under the duvet but talk to your friends about anything other than gambling, do your sport until you drop and talk to your parents without anger, blame or judgement. They are human too and they will be worried for you and worry makes people do and say things they don’t mean.
Everything that you are feeling is normal so look after yourself, keep posting and joining the groups – talk to the Helpline, everybody is here to support you.
I have learned so much Mr Ex just by being on this site and having 25 terrible years with an active CG – I have learned to take one day at a time and not live with guilt. I have learned not to judge. You will get to GH and you sound as though you are determined and ready which is a big step in the right direction.
Look after yourself and your parents who are welcome to come on the F&F forum or in to the F&F group which is private. I would suggest that if they do want support here you ask them perhaps not to read your thread but to concentrate on their own recovery. I never read my CG’s thread because it was his recovery and that was what I wanted more than anything. We made it work and you can too.
One final word for now – you said about the wound opening later. You will deal with wounds on the programme but slips and relapses do not have to be part of your future life – be determined – you can do this.
One day at a time Mr E.
Velvet
