Hi Momchait
I do my best to reply promptly but I don’t always succeed!
I am making assumptions so please forgive me if I go off on the wrong tangent. I assume that you are aware of your son’s problems because he has gambling debts and possibly brings his worries home to you. Clearing gambling debts for a CG, with all the best intentions, is enablement. As soon as the slate is wiped clean the CG sees the opportunity to gamble at will leaving those who cleared the debt confused and often afraid. As my CG said to me I did all the wrong things for all the right reasons.
I am wondering if his roommates are aware of his problem and if they possibly enable him and then want their money back – this is a common scenario and parents inevitably feel the pain that their son is causing others and repay the roommates – sadly this is also enablement.
It is good, I think, that your son is not under your roof which hopefully gives you breathing space from his addiction. It is so important that you live your life without his addiction controlling you because it will take you down with it if you allow it to do so.
Are his older siblings managing their lives and doing well? Does your son appear to believe he has not had their opportunities? Regardless of how your son appears, a gambling addiction will cause him to lack self-esteem and self-confidence because that is the nature of the addiction. I have seen active CGs positively swagger with the belief that they are in control when in fact their lives suggest anything but.
I’m sorry to keep loading you with questions but I hope you will keep posting so that between us we can find the best way forward for you; you have done well starting a thread and hopefully you will soon be able to look back and see how well you are doing.
Velvet
