Hi MM
Appreciating you need more time is good. We make mistakes when we rush in. To cope we need to be ahead of the addiction and to be ahead we need to be sure of ourselves first.
I have just been reading passages in my Gamanon book and I thought what a difference it made to me.
Maybe you could access information about Gamblers Anonymous and Gamanon from the web – do you have friends in the US who can get you information – New Mexico, California, Arizona and Texas all have hotline availability to GA.
The following is taken from my Gamanon book and I like it – I hope you do:-
YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds – but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only; one day – TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of these two awful eternities – yesterday and tomorrow – that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad – it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
When the group closes MM – I always say out loud the Serenity prayer whilst thinking of the people I have shared the hour with – it always seems particularly poignant when the members are in other countries. It is said at the end of every Gamanon meeting and I will be saying it on Tuesday evening at 21.00 hours UK time – I hope that by printing it here you will hold my hand in cyber space so that we can say it together – with or without the word God depending on your own preference.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And Wisdom to know the difference.
The courage you are showing and which is building in you every day is the best thing you can do for your husband – well done
V