Hi MM
Having spoken a lot in real time I have an understanding of your motives and intention – I certainly don’t think decisions are easy for you – you need time and I understand that you need to see your husband again. Nobody has a crystal ball and nobody else has the right to tell you what to do.
I agree with your decision to return to Cuba. You are in limbo at the moment, neither sure of your own strength nor sure of your husband’s state of mind and behaviour. I think I have more faith in your ability to resist his addiction than you have – you have come on leaps and bounds and you know the dangers. You are not ready to walk away from your husband but you are also not saying you intend to hang in regardless. You are thinking clearly and you want to see your husband again which is perfectly natural.
In my opinion MM, armed with all the information you have accumulated, you will be able to get close to the addiction again without getting burnt up – what you allow is up to you, what you will not allow is up to you – the little word with the big meaning is ‘no’ – use it and you will be safe. This forum, Group and Helpline will be available to you when you can connect – there will be never be any judgement.
Hoping to ‘speak’ tomorrow evening
Velvet
