Hi Mjaycee
Does anybody really have control of the way things will turn out for their children? I don’t think so! We plan, we dream but ultimately our children make their own way – sadly your son’s way is difficult but not impossible.
I like your son’s message to you and his seeming recognition that you are not helping each other but with no fault being placed on either of you.
I don’t know how often my son tried to control his life before he eventually succeeded but looking back I am sure I didn’t do or say the right things if he did try. We became estranged M. He went his own way, believing that he was going to ‘show me’ that he knew what he was doing. Did I think about him? Of course I did, everyday – but without his addiction consuming me I began to pick myself up, I went to Gam Anon, I re-found my life.
I love the Serenity Prayer – I also love the following
YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds – but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day – TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of these two awful eternities – yesterday and tomorrow – that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad – it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Enjoy your walks M and make sure you notice nature unfolding all around you, embrace your friends and laugh with them, share with Gam -Anon as you have here because you never know who is listening, put fear to bed. You are not alone. When your son realises that his addiction if hurting him enough to determine to change, you will be healthy and in control of your life and able to support him.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the thing that I can
And Wisdom to know it is me.
Velvet
