Thank you for your kind words. It took 25 years, 3 inpatient treatments and many relapses to get to this point. My hb also spent a year in prison because of a gambling related crime. I don’t know what his ex told his daughter about his uninvolvement in her life, but am sure it was not very nice. My daughter was 14 when her dad was sentenced and it was hell for the both of us. She did not appreciate being in the dark for so long. Of course she noticed the tension, the fights, the money problems and my desperation but didn’t understand what was going on. I had to tell her that her father was in jail when I picked her up from school the day of the arrest. Today, I would talk to her about it. After all, she learned about substance addiction in school and now they even have cg included in the curriculum. My daughter and I were part of the group that developed the material and that helped her a great deal. As for my step daughter, she now has a little boy and is adamant to protect him from the fall-out caused by my hb’s gambling and her stepdads drinking. It took years for her and her dad to rebuild their relationship. She just watched him for a long time to make sure he rally did change.
Talking to a 4year old is very hard. But if he doesn’t change, some age-appropriate info and conversations might help to sort her feelings out in the long run. I feel so sorry for your little girl, i cannot begin to tell you. What a blessing that she has a mother like you!!! And btw, our marriage did not survive. We are still married on paper and have managed to become good friend. Took a while and still seems very strange but it works.
