Hi Maverick
I have just caught up with your posts again and I was struck by Geordie’s reference to your wife knowing about the F&F section of this site.
Your wife has stuck with you through thick and thin but learning to support a CG who is working on living a gamble-free life is not the same as living with an active CG. F&F need to learn to support in the right way; to withhold enablement; to listen and not always be trying to save.
CGs need to be selfish during an early recovery and F&F need to be selfish too but in a different way. You feel you need to attend more groups but your wife doesn’t understand why – if she was doing things for herself that pleased her at the same time that you were attending groups – but more importantly if she understood why she had to do so, she could be your greatest support.
F&F are ignorant of what to do for the best Maverick – nobody signs up to be a CG or to live with a CG and the rules of engagement are confusing – and we all get it wrong. Just as I know now I did everything wrong for all the right reasons for 25 years, I know now I get it right for the right reasons, even if it means my listening ears are more effective than my ‘well-meaning’ talking.
You can do it Maverick – you have many years ahead of you – make them wonderful years for you and your family.
Velvet
