Just keep going and doing the best that you can each day… maybe at the start of the day you could say just for today i wont gamble, and just for today i wont self harm, use it for that aswell…. glad to see you hear and progressing along., i hope i dont seem to lecture whenever i talk but i always just like to share what worked for me in the hope it would help others, took me six years of major relapsing to get there though and i still have to watch it im not cured. I know how hard it is.. i understand the being in addiction to run from life. ive done it all my life too.. i get you. That fear of success even.. when its good rip it down… but bit by bit we can change it Mav. Glad to read you post. Never give up on you, you are worth it even when you cant see that yourself, others can, you will see it too.. just give it time
P