Hi Maria
I understand you wanting to know what is going on.
Gordon House is there for the residents and they do a fantastic job, however, they cannot deal with the loved ones as well. To give their best they have to focus on the CG without any conflict of interest. ‘You’ may know that you will not be a confliction but those working with your husband do not know, so the line is drawn – everybody is treated the same and most importantly – it works.
I don’t know how often, or when your husband will call but whatever happens please believe me the work is going on and your husband is getting the support he needs.
I didn’t hear from my CG for 6 months but during that time he went through many different phases and it would not have helped me or him if I had heard about them – it was ‘his’ recovery not mine. During that time I would call once a week and usually I was told that he had been seen that morning and was looking well. I appreciate that you are frustrated and that having OCD doesn’t help but your problems cannot be allowed to concern those helping your husband – the programme will progress at whatever speed is right for your husband. The outcome is all that matters.
Your husband will be with CGs who are at different stages of recovery and they will support him because they all want a gamble-free life, he will be having counselling and experiencing many opportunities to off-load worries that may never have surfaced before. It is a unique experience and requires a lot of work and soul-searching on the part of the CG – distraction therefore might not always be good or wanted.
I’m sorry if this isn’t what you are hoping for – I can only reiterate that the wait is worthwhile and that amazing recoveries are experienced ‘because’ of the nature of the programme.
Keeping busy is important, doing things that please you is very important, trying new ideas and interests is extra important.
Maybe you could contact the Helpline between 9 and 17.00 hours UK time. It is often manned by a CG who has done the GMA programme and who would willingly support you.
I hope perhaps to ‘talk’ to you this evening and maybe give you greater peace of mind. Maybe you have other questions – I will gladly answer you.
Velvet
