Hi Lostitallagain,
Well done for joining this site and looking for help.
Whatever other issues we have , gambling only makes things worse.
You are very honest about not wanting to close your account. I guess none Of us really want to stop , but we can no longer face the consequences of gambling . It just feels so bad when we lose all our money and have to struggle to survive.
I too had a big win once and have never been able to repeat it . It is the pattern for many who become addicted . We always think we will win but even when we do , we usually just keep gambling until we lose it all.
I’m really glad you joined this site and I look forward to getting to know you better .