Hi Logic
I wouldn’t recommend writing your CG a letter – they can be read a million ways and probably never the way you meant the words to be taken. He can screw it up and throw it away or fold it away in a pocket but it still gives him the opportunity to dig it out and re-read it, with his distorted perception, while getting angrier and more determined to believe that you don’t understand him and that gambling is his only answer.
I believe in letting a CG know that you know they are telling lies, when you are positive that they are – but do it without lots of words that get lost in translation. Something like ‘OK, I hear what you say but don’t think you are fooling me’ and leave it at that; then either get involved in something else or change the subject letting it be clear that as far as you are concerned the subject is firmly closed. Closing the subject when a CG wants to get a reaction is important, in my opinion – not only does it say that he is not succeeding in treating you like an idiot but it takes you out of the argument. Flouncing out and banging the door is a reaction, as is shouting, crying, threatening and pleading, whereas solidly refusing his addiction will hopefully keep you safe.
Velvet
