Hi Logic
Two things stand out for me in your latest posts and both are written as a result of you gaining experience and using it.
The first is “ i cant expect CG to just say “yeah okay now youve said that im done with this” and the other is “my biggest hindrance is myself”
Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, either for the CG who has indulged an addiction for years or for the non-CG who has been flummoxed by an addiction for years and spent too much time trying to change it.
Nobody can ask for more than small steps although I found that with practice the steps do get longer and easier.
Recognising that you have been even the ‘smallest hindrance to yourself’ is a self-awareness that is priceless. I think everyone I knew (including me) when they entered Gam-anon believed that they did not have a problem and struggled against the 7th step of the recovery programme ‘Humbly ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.’
Learning about ourselves and taking the experiences we have had and putting them to good use hopefully protects us from making the same mistakes again because if we don’t we go round in ever decreasing circles.
Your new job sounds great and with your new awareness i am sure you will be brilliant. I cannot tell you what to do but I do believe it is good to allow yourself time before you enter another relationship. Take the time to look after you and give yourself the chance to find out what you really want out of life because second best will not do.
Wishing you well
Velvet
