Sorry to hear you are so distressed lately.. I think its probably best if you feel that bad to go and see a health professional, if you are suicidal i really suggest you ring a help line or go see your doctor ASAP. By the sounds of what you were writing on my thread you are at a bad place. Seek help. You need face to face help for mental health. Keep trying not to gamble and look at what you can do to stop yourself. Look at meetings, counselling etc.. find ways. For now though professional help sounds like the best option first
Pea