Hi Lizbeth, First of all, I have been thinking about you a lot lately, even though I haven’t been up-to-date on posts. Like me, I knew you were restless, wanting to make changes in your life, but being in kind of a standstill. I was thinking that your restlessness wasn’t a bad thing just a sign that you were ready for some changes.
Now, I read about all that you have been going through lately. I so relate to the situation with your oldest daughter. This is so similar to what we went through when we bought our parent’s home “the cottage”. When it was in our best interest and they were healthy enough, we didn’t have the courage to ask them to leave. We truly believed we were doing the right thing to buy it in the first place, and then to let them stay there. Even though, it was the worst thing we could have done. It destroyed us financially, and we still haven’t recovered. Protect yourself, Lizbeth. Your daughter is young. She can recover. I realize now, it wasn’t our job to try to save my parents, especially at our expense. But the thing that was so hard to face was the fact that even though they asked for our help, they also resented it. Not in the beginning, because I think they still believed that our help was only a temporary fix and they would be able to move out and buy their own home. Like you, we took a chance. The thing that is hard to admit, even now, is that we also felt resentment towards them, too. I resented them for being in a situation where they needed our help, and I also resented them for resenting us for trying to help them. But, I also resented them because we went down with them because we did so against our better judgment and at our own expense. I don’t mean to talk about myself on your thread, but I do hope you can get something out of it. If nothing else, I feel deeply for what you are going through. In the end, I do believe love is what matters most, but it does get tricky when family and finances mix.
Which brings me to your relapse. I did the same thing two days ago. About that, I won’t give details on your thread. I will say that given everything you are going through, it isn’t hard to understand. Forgive, if you will. However, I would rather think of it as a ZigZag, rather than a relapse. You Zigzagged, but you didn’t leave your recovery path.
And I hope that because of the ZigZag, you are more determined than ever to find that thing you feel is missing.
People may not agree with me, but I don’t think your ZigZag is anything to forgive. I know we know that Gambling is not the source of our pleasure. Nor should it be the source of our pain. Don’t give it the satisfaction or that much power, Lizbeth.
You have a lot on your plate right now. You gambled, but I know you are now ready to handle things without gambling…the Lizbeth way…with strength, fortitude, discernment, forgiveness, grace, and with the greatest gift you have to give, love!
