As I have read through your thread, I see and hear many emotions and feelings that have me nodding my head in agreement. I stopped gambling 53 days ago only because I did not have access to funds, there was no more available to me. So when members on this site say to remove access to funds, I totally get that now…my brain doesn’t let me get so many urges now as I know there is no money to gamble with.
This admire your honesty and I think this place is a safe and non judgemental place to be so. So, climb back on that horse and start again. The fact that you are here and writing shows me you want to stop.
We are all here for you, together.
Warm regards from NZ
Tina