Hi Lilyanna
I hope that Charles’ post to you has given you a sense of direction and also hope.
I am glad that you have managed to say that you love your son but currently you hate him because so often we don’t voice terrible thoughts because of what others might think. In this forum you are understood. I felt as you do and I struggled with such an awful thought but thankfully I came to realise that it was my CG’s addiction that I hated and to know that he hated it too.
It will not do your son any harm to know that you have reached the end of your tether, it seems to me this has been coming for a long time and I think it is fantastic that you have organised a holiday for you to look after yourself and give yourself the time that you deserve.
I am sure you have seen the penitent son before following a furious response to you trying to support him. I suspect you are now seeing through the conciliatory’ words and know just what they are – words. You are no fool, you have been used by an addiction that is manipulative and it is time to stop.
I hope you will join me in the F&F groups where we can communicate in real time and where nothing that is said appears on the forum.
In the meantime I hope you will keep posting because it is my belief that sharing your burden will help you to cope.
How long was it that your son was away when he walked out? Does he have anywhere else to live? Has he ever sought help for his addiction?
Sorry to load you with questions but it helps me to understand how to support you best.
I cannot tell you what to do but if it was me I would determine that this last bout of poor behaviour was the last I would put up with and I would tell him to seek support from GA, a site such as this or the GMA rehab which is great.
Out Helpline is here for you Lilyanna, it is anonymous and safe; it is also there for your son if he wants to extend a hand for help. If he doesn’t then, in my opinion, it would be better for you to refuse him a roof until he can appreciate you. Do you have other family to help you be strong?
Speak soon
Velvet
