Hi Lily,
Thanks for your message. I thought about writing down how i feel to CG but i know at the minute it won’t register with him.
This week has been a mixed bag really. We have had gig tickets booked for a while and that required an overnight stay. This made me anxious as our last hotel stay was a disaster on so many ways and ended up with me hundreds of pounds down. So naturally i was worried about this one. He was adament that it was booked but couldn’t show me confirmation of the booking or even name the hotel.
So i called him out on it. Told him that i knew it had never been booked in the first place. Cue full 24hr strop from CH. him “cancelling” the imaginary hotel.
When i finally got to talk to him properly we had a good chat and he opened up a little saying that he is really struggling with feeling depressed and stressed. Obviously no mention of the addiction problems but he is getting better at startimg to open up to me so i didn’t want to shut that down by bringing up something i know he is in denial about.
In the end we went to the gig with a cobbled together plan which was done in the car on the way there. But we actually had a really good time and it was good to see CG happy. And more importantly i felt happy.
One of the things i struggle with how to address is when CG wants to “treat” me when he wins a bet. Part of me feels like I’m owed something good from all of the stress from this gambling but really i know that isn’t the right answer.