Thank you for your kind words, Laura.
I’m not a writer, but I have stacks of journals from the last 30 years that have prepared me to be as brutally honest as I can with myself in writing.
Not coincidentally, journaling had ceased to be a refuge and creative outlet, and a truly inadequate exercise to address/appease this growing emptiness I’d been feeling for quite a number of years (right around the time I started gambling). I wasn’t experiencing depression exactly, but was badly burned out and unhappy. No matter what I tried, except for gambling, I found nothing worth investing my time and money. Sigh… A really good therapist would’ve been able to avert a disaster at this stage.
But I was so very grateful to find this site a few months ago early on in my recovery. It allowed me to identify and reconnect to old practices like writing, meditation, while identifying new practices (cooking, calligraphy, binge TV-watching) to move me along on my recovery. Last but not least, I was able to offer and receive insight from others.
Although my journey has been profoundly humbling, enlightening, and humanizing (I am a much kinder person than I used to be), I’ve caught myself resisting change through self-sabotaging acts of procrastination these last few weeks. As hard as it is to deal with bouts of financial worries and regrets, better to stick with a sense of renewal/hope, self-discovery, vigilance, and awareness.
Hoping your journey finds you well and in good spirits, Laura.
All the Best, – S