Hi Kpat just read through your journal. It was painful to read! I can identify with almost everything you have said and have and are going through! Though I know that does not make it easier.
One thought came to mind as CGs we can react different to family / life stresses. Use them as the excuse to go gamble. Such as the situation with your son. But people who do not gamble also have the same life issues problems challenges and so on as everyone else. So in that respect we are certainly not alone. It is how we deal with those issues that matters. You chose NOT to give into your addiction that day and face the issues in your own way. This I feel is a huge and positive step.
I also have a few other family members who have been CGs but as Vera said you break the cycle with doing what you are doing now. It will never be easy to quite. Our brains are hard wired to imagine we can win. But you winning the jackpot and coming back with nothing proves … win or loose it makes no difference. You have done great to come this far. Imagine where you can be a few more months down the line ?
Rooting for you Kpat!!!
JN.