Hi KPat it was and is never my intention to make anyone feel sad about my situation. I am sorry if I did 🙁 I write here because it is really my only outlet and the only place I can truly express some of what I am feeling.
Sadly no it is not possible to visit your end of the world for the holidays. Vera’s invite was really kind and touching. I will be avoiding the bars and pubs in the last few days before the holidays. I don’t think I could stomach being sat there on my own watching the rest of the world go about xmas in the right way. The day will pass and that will be it.
I have only myself to blame for this situation with regards to my gambling. The other aspects of my life … well on that I have no control. Take care and thanks for your message.