Hi Kat
You have stood by your husband, afraid to dream the impossible dream that he could control his addiction. Slowly it looked like the dream was becoming a reality when your husband forgot to take his medication and suddenly you are back walking on eggshells. I would think that you are right, imbalances were to be expected but I am not surprised that have been concerned when your husband went cold turkey for a week.
What made you revert to the old habits of watching him and tip-toeing around him? Did you see old behaviour? Is he still getting support from his GA group?
What other couples might see as normal ups-and-downs in their relationship, gamblers and those who love them see blips as relapses where old fears spring up like weeds and threaten to choke recovery. In early recoveries it is, sadly, too easy to lose trust.
How good did life get in the last 218 days, did you have good times, did you relax? The handful of times he recognised what he had done to you Kat, are pure gold, they point towards a man who is self-examining himself and seeing the wreckage caused by his behaviour – not an easy thing to do.
Gamblers do struggle with complacency in an early recovery and they do have to pull themselves back on track when it grips them but I don’t think it was complacency that has caused you to feel as you do – I think you had relaxed and it is great that you did. Hopefully your husband will get back on an even keel now and you can find your relaxed self again.
Please speak again soon
As Ever
Velvet
