Hi Joni,
My mother has been gambling very bad for over 22 years. She started when I was 13 years old. I have 4 younger sisters so I fell into this strange role of care taker/child. I can tell you this…gambling is a Monster of an addiction. My dad was an alcoholic and I’d choose that anyday over gambling. Your husband will lie to you and you’re right not to trust him. It’s so painful but the only thing you can do is move on. Teach your daughters that life and happiness is a choice. It will be hard but you can get out of the ‘nuclear cloud’ of your husbands addiction.
I realized that there is NOTHING I can do to stop my mother from gambling. She loves us still, but an addiction trumps everything. Gamblers will lie, steal, and it all becomes a ‘normal’ part of life. It’s so hard because they are not the people they used to be and you mourn for that person again…but until they SEEK help and truly get the root cause of the emotional/mental/ pain they are trying to ‘zone out’ and escape from, things won’t change. It’s Your choice of how your life goes. I hope you choose happiness and be true to yourself!
It’s SO hard not to take it personal but you CAN be happy again, just not while putting your energy into an addict. I hope you can move on and if you are thinking about suicide, please reach out…Take care
