Hi Jenny
Welcome from me to Gambling ^Therapy.
I am on holiday at the moment so my post to you will be brief but as nobody I am on holiday with is about at the moment– I have a moment to reply to you.
I know the overwhelming feelings you are experiencing. I hope that between us and the other members who will reply to you, you can lock some of your whirring thoughts away in a dark recess in your mind, to be let out later when you are feeling less stressed.
You are not stupid Jenny, you have been overtaken by a monstrous addiction that you neither asked for nor wanted – given strength you will see the addiction for what it is and not as something you cannot control. It is your husband who has the addiction, not you, you are tougher than you think you are and you will survive. You will gain knowledge of his addiction on this site and that will give you power over it – it is a slow process but it works – I know because I have done it.
I think from, what you have said, you have control of your husband’s wages. Do you have accounts in your own name that he has no access to so that you can protect yourself and your children?
The finance manager and the offer of business and pleasure set bells ringing for me. She has money at her disposal and what does your husband want to get his hands on more than anything? I don’t minimise this behaviour but I recognise it. The girl is wise not to respond – he is not offering pleasure, he is seeking enablement. As I said above, seeing the addiction for what it is does help but this does also not mean that he didn’t marry you for the right reasons. Believe in yourself, look after yourself, you are stronger than his addiction.
I have a group tomorrow evening, Tuesday between 20.00-2100 hours UK time. It would be great if you could join so that we could communicate in real time. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum.
I have to sign off as my holiday companions are now about but I hope some of this helps.
Speak soon
Velvet
