Day 17 already. Seventeen consecutive days without any gambling thats great. No one on this forum or at any GA will have done better than that , dosnt matter if that person may be 20 years without a bet they havnt gambled for the last seventeen days and neither have you you are on par with many other recovering addicts. Is there any reason why you should gamble today, or any other, for that matter. One single day at a time thats all it is, one day, you’ve done the last 17 back to back that is terriffic. I dont know how many days I’ve gone without gambling, the only day that ever concerns me with respect to gambling is today. It dosn’t concern me too much though because I know that just for today I wont gamble because to do so not only jeopardises my life it also puts in to jeopardy the lives of those I love and those that love me, its a non brainer. I dont know how I’ll feel towards it tomorrow or next week but today I feel the same about it as I did yesterday, it dosnt excite me, it dosn’t interest me its done more harm to me and my family than anyone could possibly imagine. Today I knew the chances of me gambling were the same as the chances of me committing a high school massacre; It wasnt going to happen.
Please dont doubt yourself, take pride in yourself for what you have done so far, for a compulsive gambler to get through one day can be tough but it is also a great achievement whether its day 1 day 17 or day 9856.
I must say though I think you still have one or two doors to gambling left open maybe you might be wise enough to close these now.
Personally I think not telling your wife about your last gambling session is a huge mistake that you might regret in the future, I think telling her would be great for your recovery and for hers. I just know that marriages and loving relationships should be built around trust. You are a recovering addict now so why continue exercising the traits of a deceitful active gambling addict, this dosnt demonstrate any changes to your wife, she is just seeing the same you as she has for years. Like I say thats my opinion and at the end of the day it is your choice to make.
Nice to read your daily progress though.
One day at a time.
Take care.