Hi Jackie
I am sorry I have not sent you a reply sooner. I had just got back from a couple of days away when I first read you post, I replied in word and then went and did something else and completely forgot to post it. This doesn’t help you one jot, however and I can only hope you return to the forum again for the support you should have had earlier and which you deserve.
Your partner is blaming you, calling you the crazy one to distract you from that which you know to be true – he has gambled and the responsibility for doing so, it his and his alone.
The swanning around is common and it is swan like – assuming a look of calm serenity on the surface but desperately trying to keep control underneath. Your partner will lack confidence and self-esteem and both these things are often covered by swaggering behaviour. He has an addiction that means he will fail if he indulges it and constant failure is hard to live with – hence the bravado act that is only on the surface.
It is indeed a shame that you have to check the business account so often but I suggest that it is something you will need to do, while you decide what you want to do next, in order to protect your interest. Your partner is capable of bleeding the account dry if he gets the opportunity.
Does your partner accept he has an addiction? Has he ever sought help?
In answer to your final question, ‘you’ cannot control his addiction, only he can do that and he has to want to do it. What you can do, which is important for you and for him is to look after yourself because if you do fall, you will not be able to support yourself, never mind your partner.
I hope you will post again and maybe pop into an F&F group where you will be very welcome.
Velvet
